A year has nearly past since my first post and the start of this blog. Much has transpired this last year, the vast majority I am so very grateful for. As “twilight” has descended on the current year I wish to continue the journey started so many months ago. I hope you will accompany me into the “rabbit hole”. To that end, I should take a moment and give some explanation of what is meant by the “rabbit hole”. To begin, I have always had a deep desire for learning, exploring, and searching for the truth. I was born into a very religious family to parents who walked to the beat of their own drummer. They often referred to themselves as the “black sheep” of the extended family. By the time I had turned 11/12 we had moved into the four corners area, several miles away from the nearest town, but closer to family. Unfortunate circumstances had forced my father to take an early retirement from an injury he sustained while on the job. The money he received ended up being very little which resulted in growing up in poverty during my teen age years. Since my parents had little to no education, and each of them had injuries or disabilities (my mother had suffered from polio as a child), the way I grew up ended up being very unorthodox to say the least. In my home, relying on our religious beliefs was very important, especially when you did not know where your next meal was coming from. My father worked hard to overcome his injuries so he could find ways to supplement the family income. His experience with the main stream doctors that treated him, then oversaw his recovery from the work related accident (he was a paramedic in an ambulance transporting someone to the hospital when they were broadsided by an oncoming vehicle while going through an intersection) was very negative from his point of view. When we moved to be closer by his family, my father decided that alternative healing such as chiropractics, herbs, tinctures, poultices, blessings, and faith in a higher power was to be trusted more than those doctors (they wanted to place a metal rod in his back which was rejected by my father) and the proposed treatments they offered. It was during this time of my life that I was exposed not only to strong religious faith, but also alternative ways of viewing life around me and an open mindedness to different ideas. An example of this occurred as my family was working the details out for the move to the four corners area. My parents had found a piece of property that they could purchase, but to get a loan to build upon this property they had to show there was water available on the property which meant digging a well. They had already been told that there was no water to be had on the property, but my father felt very impressed that there was. He hired a man to “water witch” the property, which he did. He found a spot on the south end of the lot in question where the man’s diving rods began to spin all directions. He marked the spot and relayed the information to my father. Without missing a beat my parents had a drill rig come out to that spot and begin drilling. Not only did the rig hit water, there was so much water the next morning coming from that spot that it flooded the whole south end of the property before the new well could be capped. My father had just become owner of an artesian well and granted the loan to build a home.
After we moved, I found myself becoming more and more interested in exploring and learning not only about where we had moved and the nature around me, but also about my own religious and spiritual beliefs. Being new and living miles from the nearest town, I spent a lot of time in solitude and became comfortable being by myself. I preferred to read, hike and explore than attend any social activity that school had to offer (there was one exception, but I will come to that in a moment). I remember spending a weekend or Sunday after church searching through the Old Testament trying to draw out the genealogical connections starting with Adam and Eve and going as far as I could trace things (I did this several times). I also found it fascinating looking into the first cities and countries mentioned in Genesis and researching about these places and their connection to published history. Even though I found religion and the natural world around me fascinating (my fathers health had improved and he turned to what he knew best to make money which for him was trapping and eventually replicating Anazasi pottery and artifacts), it was something at school that began to fascinate me, and that was science. Everything about this subject seemed to fascinate. By the time I had reached my senior year I had taken every science course the school had offered, had entered the science fair five years in a row, winning many awards and upon graduation I was given the top science student award for the overall four years of my high school experience. Though I had received several scholarships I joined the National Guard in February of my senior year. By August I was at Fort Sill, Oklahoma where I did my basic training and AIT training in radio communications/mechanics. After completing that training I returned home and requested from my unit to use my two years of inactive enlistment time to serve a religious commitment in southern Argentina. My request was granted and I headed to South America for the next two years, ending my time there high in the Andes mountains in a place called Barilloche. When I returned home, I stayed a short time at home and worked until I had money to attend college. It was around this time that a conversation with my mother opened my eyes to a whole other world. Now that I had been away from home, and had received education and experience outside of the small world of my teenage years, my mother drew my attention to the esoteric (This was not her intension, but our conversation sparked my interest and desire to dig deeper) by pointing out an obscure passage in the early chapters of Genesis on the topic of the son’s of God, the daughter’s of men, and the Nephilium. This was my first real jump into the “rabbit hole” and I was fascinated. By my early 20’s I had began to recognize the different ways of knowing.
Science is one way to come to know the world around you. It offers a body of knowledge and a process to answer questions about the natural world/universe around us. Religion is a different way of knowing. It too offers a body of knowledge and a process to answer questions about the world/universe we live in. For me, spirituality is my personal experience with that part of our world that science is not equiped to explain or explore at this time. When I left home for the military and to Argentina, I come to realize that another way of knowing is through direct experience. What I mean by this is that some things can not be taught, they can only be experienced. I had read and asked many questions of others about basic training, military life, Argentina, and religious life. Regardless of all that I had studied and prepared myself for I could never have understood in reality what life in the military, life in Argentina, and life dedicated to religious service was without living it first hand. Some things must be experienced to be understood. Some things are better not experienced since the knowledge gained is detrementaly painful, damaging, and forever life altering in all the wrong ways. Finnally there are those things that can be learned about or experienced but which are hidden from most individuals and only reveal themselves to those few willing to open their minds, yet maintain a healthy dose of skeptisim and critical thinking, yet dedicated to searching out what is true. The “rabbit hole”, as I offer it, is symbolic of exploring the hidden world around us (or that would be important to us as an individual if we were aware they existed). I have found through personal experience that many have little interest in “rabbit holes”, which is okay. Some find things curious, but only to an extent so they leave the “rabbit hole” having not gone very far. Others are drawn to this desire to learn and know what is in the “rabbit hole” and are intrinsicly motivated to spend their lives learning what few others are interested in knowing or are even aware exists.
If you are one of those who, like Alice, has had your curiosity peeked and are willing to follow, I invite you to jump after me into the “rabbit hole”. Since I started this blog entry talking about my personal interest in religion, I give this small offering of where my next blog entry and the first true trip into the “rabbit hole” will begin.
Sef's Twilight Trips Down the Rabbit Hole 
It is very interesting what you say, Seff! A precious life lesson! Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
Thank you for taking the time to look and consider! Very appreciated!
LikeLike